A FruityDayz Report Back: Crabtree & Evelynn

Fruity K's report on the streets of surburbia... hehehe

With February being the month of LOVE and all, we LOVED the opportunity to show Mrs. J some LOVE and share in and celebrate the excitement of the eagerly awaited and imminent arrival of the already much LOVED Baby Johnston.

‘Twas a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning- clear, blue skies, a gentle summer’s breeze.

With an overly enthusiastic group of chattering young ladies, a venue to host and a menu to boast- we had everything one might need to put together a memorable High Tea.

The venue: Crabtree and Evelyn, Design Quarters, Fourways

(cost per person: R250.00)

We arrived at C&E and excitedly climbed the spiral staircase to The Tearoom- a quaint setup with five or six tables in a room tastefully decorated in gorgeous vintage tea sets and colourful floral accents- where we were greeted and seated by our host for the day:- Best.

He gave us a few minutes to get settled before returning, for what we thought was to take our drinks order, but he soon corrected this misconception as he advised us that he was merely there to introduce himself and that he would return in three minutes to take our drinks order. We couldn’t help but chuckle at his rigidity.

True to his word, three minutes later he was at our table-side and meticulously took our order and competently returned moments later with rich, aromatic coffees and blushing bubbly.  

The Tearoom is not a large space and it wasn’t long before the four walls were again filled with the hum of chatter and rumbles of laughter.

The banquet consisted of the tastiest tomato tartlets, cucumber sandwiches with subtle notes of mint and coriander, moist and flavoursome muffins and scones adorned with cream and a berry preserve. The food was phenomenal and my only complaint would be that there wasn’t more of the tomato tartlets- we were limited to one per person, though that may be a blessing as I fret had I have had more tarlets I may not have had room for a slice of the most wonderful cake which they had baked and prepared especially for our special occasion- a delectable light, moist vanilla sponge with a hint of lemon, perfectly filled with just the right amount of fresh cream between the layers- YUM!

We ended the glorious High Tea off with a slice of sponge and another round of their rich and flavour-filled coffees.

The morning was so special, so enjoyable, so memorable.

In closing, the service was not bad, Best did everything that we asked of him, though he works alone to host and serve all the guests so service is a little slow, but that shouldn’t matter if you’re in good company and have some free time, and the food… The food was impeccable, I would happily recommend their venue on the food alone… they are not licenced so do not have an alcoholic menu, but their coffee is rich and robust and could convert even a tea tohler like me. J Why not spoil yourself with an exclusive pamper product from their shop afterward?

 

Kerry Coats

Onwards and sideways

Everyone has a story especially moms, aunts and sisters. I have asked some ladies to tell me theirs for Fruitydayz.  Look out for some funny moments, sad moments and all the embarrassing moments(I am sure mine will be 89.7% embarrassing moments) in between some other stuff.

I would also like to use this blog to give feed back on places and experiences. My special "taste-bud" friend Kerry has written a review of a place we recently visited - I will post it, well once I find it.

How ever I leave you with today's embarrassing moment:
Me, filling a random ladies trolley with my goods whilst she watched in shock.

Until tomorrow when Kerry sends me her post.

Good night.

Mama is tu-tu crazy!

This year has started off with a bang, a tutu and some tears…

Ms K started a new school, with so many emotions to work through, (and there were A LOT of emotions!) apprehension of fitting in, wearing the right clothes, making friends and impressing the teacher and that was just I.

Ms K fights with me every morning and yes, I do know that I need to be firmer and impose some discipline but why is it that after years of au pairing and babysitting, she reduces me to a screaming fishwife with food particles and mucous flying around. I am reduced to a quivering ball of mommy insecurity.

Problem resolved- we pick our outfit, however bazaar, the night before – I do so wish she would let me take pictures so you would be able to see the weirdly wonderful outfits thrown together. In fact, please share your pictures as it makes me secure, knowing that my future “ fashionista” will have” fashion forward friends” (that ) with whom she can move around in a pack. When I thought she did not have it in for me – she told her Dad,” Let’s take a selfie” (she is 3 years old – how does she know what a selfie is) then she says,” Don’t tell mommy”. A new game- that continues with my mom-vibe feelings of insecurity.

I do think Ms K loves the sound of my voice, as she likes me repeating myself. Somehow I find that the angrier and louder I am, I manage to befuddle words resulting in a misconstrued sentence that comes out something like ‘I told you to stop picking up and kissing your sisters panties on the floor’!

Travelling with the monsters… Part one: making it from the front door to the car.

This is a post with no helpful travel hints on keeping your child occupied. We were quite lucky as my child kept herself rather well occupied; she did this by asking for us to stop for a wee every 18.7 minutes and alternating with the questions, “Where is the sea? When will be at the sea? Can I have a wee in the sea? Why can’t I poo in the sea, I want to poo in the sea? Does the sea have eyes? I want the sea? When can I see the sea? Can the sea see? When will be at the sea?” At this stage we had only left our driveway.

I envisioned the perfect holiday and it started out that way; perfectly chaotic that is, with a meltdown or two thrown in for good measure.

Meltdown one: Me to Ms K. “Morning, we are going to the sea my baby. You have a choice of these two outfits.” What ensued was a 40 minute screaming, crying and feeling sorry for oneself and that was just me! This is an ongoing problem in our household, getting Kenzie to wear the required outfit for the ensuing activity. Somehow, through the snot and tears, she ended up wearing a blue tutu with a spotted top and those plastic girly high heels, also known as, “eina” heels. Smugly, thinking we had won, we put her in the car, ready to go to the sea. Come to think of it, Miss K won, she wore neither the dress nor the t-shirt and shorts combo that I put out. They were cute outfits, I promise.

Meltdown two: Ms T didn’t want the cereal I made for her breakfast, nor did she want to sit, stand, crawl or smile. Ok, let me rephrase that, I can be so negative sometimes; she did want to cry and moan.

Meltdown three: A mom, wondering where her perfect holiday vision had gone, as she sits in a cesspit of broken dreams and tears that have washed away her dreams, as she starts drowning in the constant stream of pity and worthlessness. First world problems can bite me.

 At this stage we are already an hour behind schedule, and it is a bit more delayed as we have to stop for our obligatory personality, Coffee!

Preparing for Hospital

Today I am packing for the hospital. I have a certain quality of OCD that I am still trying to deal with. I am even trying to arrange how sore I will feel coming out of anesthetic (broken down to a-nest-HECTIC) this sense of control is slightly weird, I know.
I have tried googling... so you are going into hospital what next (to be said in Hollywood trailer voice)... alas to my dismay even my trusted wiki has let me down, sometimes the Internet is of no help...pft ok maybe I am a lot weird...

I have just sent an email of contact numbers and Kenzie's schedule. Now to pack Kenzie's bag and my hospital bag.Kevin is staying with his parents for two weeks. I need to thank my parents and my in-laws I am truly lucky.

Practical things need to be addressed but I have filed that under the silly section.  We tried having a discussion of "what ifs" but that too was pushed to one side. Who wants to talk about the negative especially when you are 33 years old. In the wise of words of Salt and Pepper. Yeh aha - don't be negative, negative just be positive positive...

I, of course have played the sick card and ordered way too many books on my kindle and am pretending this will be more like a getaway spa catching up on much needed sleep.

Yesterday I experienced a sense of calm today the butterflies have returned with a force more like a colony of bats.

I am overwhelmed with all the messages of support that I have received and almost feel like a fraud.. I would just like to say Thank-you and you shall hear from me sooner than later.

The Story of my PanreASS - Chapter 2

Things I do not recommend you do on your birthday.

1.      Do not go to a Professor/surgeon

2.      If you do go to a Professor, do not wear a dress with spanks aka “Granny Panties”

3.      Be prepared for bad news like – “You will need surgery and you will need to be in hospital for 2 weeks”.

4.      Be prepared for more blood tests. My problem with blood tests is the cotton wool – great I just wrote cotton wool – oh no I just did it again. I hate it!

5.      I just feel a list looks more professional and well thought-out if you have 5 points. Oh yes, make sure that any CD Discs in your folder of scans is not the photo shoot of your lovely 14 month old baby.

Now a week has passed, after another CT-scan I am back at my favourite Professor’s rooms with my entourage, a worried husband, my mother and decent panties. Yes it is confirmed - I need surgery and they have also found a lump on my liver (but we don’t need to worry about that).
My lump is a grade one tumor. It takes 4 days after the Whipple procedure (removal of gall bladder, head of pancreas, small intestine and part of stomach) for us to find out if it is an aggressive or non-aggressive cancer. My Professor (be jealous – I mean who else has managed to be looked after by a Professor) anyway, MY Professor says he believes it is a non-aggressive cancer that means a normal life after my recovery. Yay more babies!

Something to keep me positive - The weight-loss I will experience (now if this doesn’t happen, Kevin has mentioned that I may have more than pancreas problems, thank goodness for his sense of humour)

If you do not know this Donald Gordon is not a person who will give you authorization for your biopsy. Donald Gordon started Liberty and has a hospital named after him so therefore do not ask the receptionist loudly if he will be getting your authorization. Leads to a definite AWKWARD moment.

I have learnt that getting authorization for my major surgery (dramatic pause please) whilst Discovery takes me through my run down regarding doctors not having special arrangements with them and us being charged with out-of-hospital rates. I shall now have to ask anyone who even looks at me in hospital if they are contracted to Discovery before administrating me the much needed painkillers, which I am sure will be needed after a 7 hour op. I, of course, say this to the person on the end of the Discovery call centre for her to understand where I am coming from. The result is that I will now have to ask everyone working in the hospital if they are contracted to discovery rates.

The Story of my PancreASS- Chapter One

My pancreas hates me and that's a fact.

It all started - I think - in my youth, where I  would state, quite loudly, that if people thought beauty was skin deep, they hadn’t seen my pancreas, which was beautiful. I was your typical nerdy-looking teen; braces (tick) with funny, weird hair (tick).

Now if you have ever seen the pancreas it really isn’t such a good looking organ, but in all fairness, is any organ really beautiful?

Years later and after some self-doubt and a self-diagnosis of potential hypochondriacism, my husband encouraged me to go to the doctor. I figured he was so tired of my constant complaints of nausea, weakness and a burning sensation in my tummy, to name but a few. Or maybe because he said “Chanene I am tired of your constant complaints”.
I then get sent for an ultra sound. The doctors find a lump. They then get authorization for a CT-scan, I am asked if I had a "boozy night" the previous night, now if you know me I get drunk after a few sips of wine, fast-forward the story through blood tests, a g-scope (the one down your throat not up your bum) more blood tests, more "episodes of sickness", I eventually land up at the Milpark Hospital in Joburg, where I am scheduled for blood tests and a biopsy of my lovely lady lump. Pancreatitis is confirmed. The Lump is obviously what is causing this.
After the longest weekend of my life and 2 days later I was told it is a Neuro Endorine Tumor. And then I was referred to a Professor and an appointment becomes available the next day - my birthday.

18 smating

I was invited to an 18th birthday party. Yes people, I am cool and hip like that
Ok so it was my cousin's 18th Birthday but I did feel cool.
Put the Bebe to bed.
Then set out to hang out with the in crowd.
Yip the rest of the family.
We are PRITTY cool and I am sure that our laughing and having fun made them 17 and 18 year olds PRITTY jealous, all eye-balling wishing they could be part of the in crowd.

Who was I kidding.
I told my bebe-daddy that this party was making me feel OLD. I just happen to mention my 'aged insecurities" at the exact same time two very young boys walk past and nod in agreement with said statement.

The result from this, is as follows:
Botox - I will find you one day and I shall ferverently deny using you - just like them celebrities do...

Ah the joys in finding that fountain of youth

Winter Highs

Here is my list of winter highs to make me feel more excited at the prospect of Winter

1. The smell of fresh winter mornings
2. Winter Fashions - you get to look stylish and be comfortable (you get to relax your gut for a bit)
3. You get to snuggle even if it's with a hot water bottle... snuggling is nice

4. Gluhwein... yummy yummy yummy - when I was preggers I had some lovely friends who made me the non- alcoholic

 5. Fireplaces - so for those of us who don't have a fireplace I am going to find a fireplace app pronto.

So some of it seems a bit "clutching on straws" but it's worth a try... mmh what else is good about Winter?

5 Funny things

5 things that made me giggle this weekend:

1. Playing ten-pin bowling -'"old-school-style", hitting a strike (not really in on the bowling lingo) - can I add there where no kiddy barriers?! but there were mostly all A LOT of gutter balls. The giggle part was developing a bum shake and rolling the ball between my legs backwards - True Story and it worked for my friends as well - somehow the guys weren't that that eager to do it.

2. bowling shoes - need I say more

3. listening to BeBe Daddy change his first poo nappy since Bebe A has been on solids. She ignored the gagging sounds and her Daddy near to tears saying Noooooo! I just lay on the bed enjoying those long few minutes

4. My 8 year old cousin greeting our guy friends with a simple "Jolling with the Boys!" - he is quite a serious 8 year old so it was cute - I promise!

5. Going to a music quiz that was so much fun when you know whats being asked and if you are reading this - you know who that picture was Babara Streisand and not Amy Whinehouse... can I get the pics so post on my blog please. (Shannyn did you get that?)

Cell phones are dangerous

 I need to tell you that  I love my husband dearly even when he does a silly thing and I can not judge him as I do as well. The story begins with him going to a bachelors party. Yes that is fine, bachelor parties happen and they are a way of life, but that is not my story. He survives the morning white water rafting and finishes with his face on his head. A few drinks later (not that many, he was not off his head yet -as it was early evening), whilst giving directions on his cell phone, he manages to stub his toe on a rock and without even a moment to protect his face fall face down and has a romantic kiss with a boulder. The result, besides me laughing, is a very-sorry-for-himself husband with scratches, black eyes and the doctor confirmed a broken nose. His face was scratched and bruised and so was his ego.
I asked him if the guy were nice to him and his reply was " of course, they said  ag shame, sit here, let me see if I can help you" his response was obviously dripping in sarcasm. Guys and Girls are so different aren't they.

The wedding was exactly a week later and he recovered quite nicely, well as nicely as one can!  I did what any good wife would do I made sure I was not in many photos with him.

My artistic impression on Kevin's face and I think my drawing makes him looks kinda sweet :)

When writing this blog, I have to bear in mind that there is a fine line between keeping it real but keeping it a bit tidy. Tidy? yes Tidy? for you uncool fold keeping it Clean...

You see my husband reads my blog, I feel that this puts me in a serious CONUNDRUM*, I therefore have to count to 10 when he annoys me beyond belief, all I want to do is run to the blog and write and let the world know (obviously I have the world following me on the blog), so yes I do want to write about why I am annoyed and why I am RIGHT!...I begrudgingly hold my breath and do not say I thing which is just so boring.

Since having Bebe ,A we have had the problem of trying to find the sexy, sparkly times together and as much as much as you think it won't happen to you, it does! What I mean is the simple things like sending " I love you" messages, or I am thinking of you, even a simple smiley face letting the other person know you are thinking of them, sweet gestures and there really is no excuse as we have so many different mediums available to make this possible. It sounds so simple yet becomes just way too much admin - it shouldn't be admin I know. I think about it and the intentions are there but you have heard the saying "the road to hell is paved in good intentions"

We preserver in finding the time for a coffee and date night but this has brought us to a new adventure of finding fun things to do around Johannesburg so our first place we recently went to on a Sunday Brunch Time was called Bamboo in Melville.

It is a centre with a few stores. Upstairs @ Bamboo is the art gallery a bit tricky with a stroller. After which we shared a sandwich and coffee. I managed to buy some books for Bebe A but due to the spending glee in my eye my husband said "home time" I definitely would go back as there is a toy store opening soon that needs my attention and a few other shops.  What I really want to go back for is their farmers market, I envision myself being posh and getting back to nature.
The address for Bamboo is:
 53 Rustenburg Road Melville,
Farmer Market is each and every Saturday
8h00-13h00

 OK better go the baby is crying... possibly cos I am late in feeding her. Such a bad mom :)

*word of everyday

Milestones or guidelines

My not so baby brother graduates from Varsity in the UK. This is very exciting for us all as a family. The excitement is "road-trip" and not the relief that my brother actually passes. Planning has been fun to a degree to think Bebe A is going to be a year old when we travel. Wow I cant even imagine that so many milestones to reach till we get there, sitting, feeding, crawling and so on and so on. I really do try not to wish her little life away especially as, my little hippy child is pretty chilled at reaching her milestones.

I personally think milestones can be a stressful for a mommy. I do use it as a guideline and find it quite useful, but I will not get stressed about it (and boy can I get stressed), as one of my friends recently told me the kids all get to where they need to be eventually - that "Piece" or should I say "Peace" of advice just made sense.

I cannot believe my baby is going to be 5 months old on Saturday and shoo is she loving the sound of her voice, big conversations are had by anyone willing to even look at her direction. I on the other hand am gearing up to starting the next stage of mommyhood - "feeding the bebe" yes I have a month left but my little one is hungry and that is just on formula.


And in honour of Dr. Seuss's birthday month in March here is a quote

"The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."
- Dr. Seuss

To Vajazzle or Not To Vajazzle - Monday Madness

I received an email from my friend whose name I can't mention - Clue (her name rhymes with Kerry Coats) it was all about the vajazzle...

For those of you who do not know what The Vajazzle is all about the definition  is as follows:
extracted from the: 
Chanaynay Dictionary
v.decorating your mini-ha ha/private parts with crystals and jewels aka to bedazzle your ....


Tuesday is Valentines Days day, the thought did dawn on me to take the Vajazzel plunge... It is a leap year after all...  Unfortunately with the red bar code still prominent on my belly and my c-scar still bright pink, I thought it would best to leap or steer away from the Vajazzel vajazzelness as it won't be so not sexy right now... Ladies, I am not over exaggerating, my bar code is so bad I can not walk past a till without a scanner going haywire. 
Not sure how to celebrate Valentine's... try Vajazzel
and to your partner I will simply say "Pleasure"...

As for me, next year I am gonna shine!

The details for whomever is interested is as follows:

Zulfah Mohamed (Bayat) Director

Contact no:082 675 8031 OR 011 472 8508 Email: belleza.perfecta@yahoo.com

Statistical Emotions and TimeLines

The saying “67.45% of all statistics are made up on the spot” does not elude me, even the fact that the word gullible has been removed from the dictionary... 

Since Bebe A has made her appearance, not only has; routine, bathing and all daily tasks taken on a new meaning. Baby toys lying everywhere (the baby doesn't even move yet) so besides "stuff" being everywhere my emotions have followed suite.  I thought I was perhaps going through a bout of depression, a bout of Who am I? a bout of insecurity and self hate ? Blahdy blah blah… bearing in mind I tend to lean… OK, more like a gigantic flop towards the melodramatic, but hear me out...the emotions or lack thereof have plagued me and made my drama queen self wait for the best actress in a drama nomination.

Now going back to statistics the average couple has 2.5 children. The average time for these weird emotions to appear after a baby is born is between 4-6 months (apparently it is" text book"... I am a textbook :)). For life to get to a new type of normal you need to wait about 6 months after baby is born.

The average month is made up of 4.2 weeks. Average bedtime is 8:24pm.

What I am getting at is; how long am I allowed to feel like this? I prefer an average so that if anyone tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself I can at least reply in a confidant tone that I have 3.76409 days left.

a bit of this and that

This weekend was great, my husband didn't work the WHOLE of Saturday... Yay!

We got to catch up with a dear friend who has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 32 years of age. She seems to be doing well. You are in our thoughts Keri, besides you are now Keri Born-a-hero so we know that you will kick the Big C's butt in no time. I do ask that when Keri goes for her next chemo you all say a prayer and wear pink (I will post the date shortly)

On a lighter or should I say on a weirder note.  
True Story Moment -Later Saturday afternoon, there I was chatting, chilling and enjoy life as Bebe A lay on the blanket next to me pretty much doing the same thing. A guy walks up to me and girl friends and says "oh how old is your baby?" I respond in a proud mama voice "3 months".
"Is she obedient?"
I reply "Well when I leave her somewhere she is there when I get back"
I then give myself a firm talking to "be nice"
The weirder note is when he asks quite loudly "Are you breastfeeding?"
Unfortunately no quick witty responses from me this time.

Token Team Player for Rent and Im free

It all started with a phone call. On old friend of mine - by old I mean I have just known her forever - calls and asks if I want to play indoor volleyball. Without thinking I say sure.
This doesn't sound bad right? wrong! I haven't participated in any team sports for 1 year and 7 months, for some people (those who have actual ball sense) going out onto a sports field is a boring day in front of the TV.

There I was, breaking into a sweat (okay that isn't abnormal but I prefer to say I glow instead of sweat), my stomach literally goes into knots and I feel nauseous.

The reason for this breakdown in my Psyche is simple. I do not have coordination, it is that simple. Ball sense is as foreign to me as an English fly landing in French soup. I was that Kid at school - the Kid who was picked last at games. I tried, I really did. #insert sad music here please. When I played softball my position was "right out" this is a real position.

Getting back to my story, by the end of the day I was feeling sick, my nerves where finished. In case you thought I was over exagerating at my ball skills or lack thereof my "lovely" old friend tells the other newby's who are helping out her team not to worry cos I am playing.


When it gets to my turn to serve the ball no matter where I stand behind the line, the ball manages to deflect to the right in a banana-shaped way. When it came to playing, one of the most memorable moments was when the ball came straight at me and somehow I managed it to guide it along - straight into my face. How do I do it you may ask, but I am really gifted that way, the way to make an arse of myself. At this point in my "feel-good-Hollywood-movie" the underdog/token player saves the day sadly I am more of a Reality Show person.  I actually did manage to touch the ball and even get it over the net, the rest of the game was relatively drama free but filled with so much laughing.

What a jol.

I really don't mind being the fill in player so feel free to ask me to help out when you are a player short I love to try new things. That's how I roll.

Bathing & Talking S$#@!

I have been reflecting back on my first 3 months of motherhood and what a journey it has been...


One of our favourite times during Bebe A's day is Bath time, such a special bonding time and it is especially great when by the end of the day your baby is in serious "sensory overload" (thank you to all the books I read I now sound like a right "mommy-know-it-all") So sensory overload is when your baby and you have just had too much *(ok you both are crying)... Bath time is filled with singing and chatting and such cute happy moments.

I have learnt the following though when it comes to bathing your baby:

Baby Pooh

• Do not have a bath with Baby if there is no one at home to take baby from you when you are ready to get out. I resolved this by having to put baby on the floor and then getting out. I had a towel on the floor so do not judge and do not judge me for not having abs - you try getting out the bath without the use of your hands. Bath time was still a success, I believe anyway.

Second attempt at bathing with baby went as follows:

• Dad home to take baby from you once baby was bathed (tick).
• Whilst bathing Bebe, I look ahead and say to Baby "didnt daddy clean the bath before he ran our bath" a few seconds later still contemplating why there could be floating bits in the bath,  I look down and yes you better believe it, Bebe A had a nice green/yellow pooh on my lap... At this point as previously mentioned it is difficult to just jump out the bath - so what do I do, I yell for my husband in my most loudest, quietiest yelling voice (can't scare baby you know?). As luck would have it he is on a very important business call so there we wait until Dada A finally makes his appearance.

Does my obsession with my Baby's pooh end there? -NO!
I have to mentally try not disect (verbally) every Poo that Miss Bebe A has to anyone - getting a personality after Bebe is a whole other conversation.
But if someone could answer this? Why does Bebe have to make a poo just after I have changed her nappy?

Testing...

Hello can anyone hear me?
Yes I am alive and almost awake... there really is a difference between lack of sleep due to jolling and boozing and the lack of sleep due to new baby

The days have been filled with sterilizing bottles and changing nappies and sterilizing bottles and changing nappies...

Happy New Years Everyone - I would like to make a toast to you "May all your dreams and goals be a reality"... So I am asking really nice *insert sweet, imploring voice* Please let me know what you would like to achieve in 2012 from big to small... I need the inspiration...

I will start
1) Sleep... zzzzzzzzz 

crying over spilt milk... Got Milk?

OK so I continue ranting from my last post... The breast feeding has become a lot easier... I would like to shout out to everyone who sent words of encouragement through this time...

Bebe A has lost a bit too much weight -the nurse and pediatrician are concerned and hence the start to fatten Bebe A for Christmas.
Yes I know that babies can lose up to 10% of their body weight but Bebe A has lost 15% of next to no weight... (as serious as this is I cant help wonder why its so hard for me - my apologies for making it about me)

I was then advised that buying an express machine was the way to go, so I reached out to family and friends for their advice - Thank you all.

We (my baby daddy and I) went to buy a machine for our breastfeeding ways. My Husband is very funny when his brother phones him and asks what he is doing his standard response is "We are breastfeeding" - this is way funnier than me writing this I promise.

Well back to the Expressing Express Machine I got a Medula mini electric swing - I looked at it for 2 days, took another day to clean it and on the 4th day I made my attempt at being a cow, I took the plunge and expressed oh my joy when I got 5ml of milk... insert happy milking dance... things got better and then worse and then better... To get a little bit of milk from your boobies takes some time. So when my jar of 7ml of hard pumping milk fell over... damn right I was crying over spilt milk.