It is here that we begin our adventure, an adventure that will be known as Fruity Dayz… Dyll (that’s me) and Pea (that’s the other one)
Why “Fruity Dayz” I ask myself?
It all started as most interesting stories, romances and jokes do… in the pub…after a “couple”. So there we were. We knew we were hilarious, extremely witty and just superiorly intelligent, WE KNEW. It has since been brought to our attention that we are NOT. Our burbs, public outbursts of anal gas & corny jokes are apparently not that entertaining. Damn you Hunters Extreme you bad bad Cider!!
So, alas our journey begins in a tale of all tales that we call our life in the cold, harsh region known as, dare I say it, dun… dun… dun…- the East Rand… it is here, that if you don’t know South Africa or Johannesburg, you say “huh?”. Ok let me try again… dun dun dun… Benoni (at this stage if you still are confused) Benoni is also known as Charlize Theron and Charlene Woodstock country… And if you do know what the East Rand is all about then please don’t judge us as we will happily give you facts during our time on the blog as to why Benoni RoCkS!
Do we choose to live here… yes! We feel all the text books about Location, Location, Location are wrong, we can still be winners in the circle of life.
Enough of that.
It is with my out-laws, my husband (whom I love very much… today) joined on a long weekend get away to the Kruger National Park this December. I have been branded as bad luck because we only saw 20 rhino’s, elephant, giraffe, zebra, warthog, a cameleon, nostrils of a hippopotamus, the beady eyes of a crocodile AND 500 GABILLION impala. Unless you see at least 2 of the big 5 your trip to the Kruger is branded a failure. I just cannot understand why they would not refund us as we didn’t really see the animals we were hoping for?
When driving into the Kruger you can immediately spot the first timers or the quality vs. quantity bunch who will stop for everything! Did I mention the 500 Gabillion impala? Impala is a medium sized African antelope. You will see black stripes on their hind legs that spell out an M, therefor known as the MacDonalds of the park, ironic? When going to the Kruger you need your Kruger eyes to see the animals. Unless, of course, you are as lucky as my mother in law who saw a rock wags its ears at us.
When going to the Kruger Park, it is advisable to not go during summer, the mercury reached a 37 degrees celcius. This means that just before you die, you are saved by your own pool of sweat that you find yourself swimming in. How can one look like a beautiful calm composed daughter in law when your mom in law starts worrying about whether you have started early menopause (at 30!).
The Kruger Park is one of the largest game reserves in Africa… bigger and safer than Israel and England. There are tar roads in the Kruger Park as well as leveled out dirt roads that make you become one with nature. There is a speed limit in the Kruger and one can be very inclined to want to race back to your camp for a toilet break or speep up should you not have an aircon, just to get some air blowing in the car. It was about 12:23 I can’t be too sure when it happened we had been in the car since 6a.m. and we had seen “nothing” and there we were looking, looking and looking, willing these animals just to come out the bushes and say hi, have a toilet break, anything…
We were stopped to see an animal I forget, probably 1 (of the 500 Gabillion impala) when another lady driving from the opposite direction sees that we stopped and curiously wants to see what we have seen. A MAN driver , proceeds to crash into her… who has an accident in the Kruger Park? You’re travelling at 20km/h with no traffic! The drivers then jump out to see the damage... Hello people!! We could have all stopped to look at lions!? We did what all good South Africans do and drove away.
