Pregnancy Card...

Ok so I had all these intentions to write this week and due to this not happening…

 I can officially pull the… dun dun dun…

PREGNANCY CARD (available at all respectable dealers near you). Call now to order one from me and you will get absolutely nothing thrown in for free…

My Back Hurts, My body’s a sight, My hips Wobble from left to right, Say ooh I’m preggers, So listen to me Rant! I can use this card as I want PREGNANCY CARD…

Yes I have pulled this card a lot lately… Hello I am growing a human bean

This is a week of yet another emotional roller coaster ride of “Yes”… Emotions. (My poor, poor husband) Questions like who am I plague me… What is my purpose?

Heck, the baby hasn’t even been born (Save everyone around me when this happens!) I guess with this reflection I need to start building friendship points.

 

Pregnancy high of the week:

When I stare sideways in the mirror my ARSE and THIGHS are smaller than my TUMMY… ok it has been like this forever but now it’s more defined… my ARSE that is.

Notes to Baby A, from an almost hypochondriac mommy-to-be.

Dear Future Baby A,

You are minus 21 weeks today. Oh, how I remember when you where only minus 4 weeks old (is that right?).  We are just past the halfway mark. Woo-Hoo!

I am writing this letter to tell you that your almost hypochondriac mother has once again been put on bed rest because of cramping and the gynae saying that I have a distressed uterus. I am now stuck in bed for 4 days during winter – this is not necessarily a bad thing but a little disappointing when we have had to sell our rugby tickets and miss seeing all your future aunts and uncles behave in a hilarious drunken manner.

Your dadda to be has something worse than “man-flu” (I can honestly vouch for him feeling so poorly – and it’s not his sickly sighs and groans) He really has been quite good running around to my bed rest needs of food and tea – we really do have ourselves a “keeper”. Bearing in mind I am a model bed-rest patient. I am not demanding, fussy and listen to everything your dadda says.

Your scan shows that you are growing quite nicely 375 grams, your heartbeat is excellent and it looks like you are going to be blessed with your dadda’s legs - nice and long. I feel you move more and more these days and I can’t wait till the day that your dadda can feel you kick.

The above scan is Baby A lazing in the stargazing position and that's the medical term.

Your bedridden parents realize that we have to take these moments of no children and appreciate them, as feeling sorry for ourselves will be down on our list when you arrive. So for now baby – we can’t wait to meet you and see what you look like, now could you just tell us if you are a boy or girl it would help me a lot. I think you need to realize that I ‘google ‘the end of movies I have this insatiable need to know everything - so your uncooperativeness is not helpful in my quest to plan and be all knowing. I guess I shall take it as my first lesson of parenting 101(check).

Baby A's long legs chilling in the womb...

Your drunken aunties just called me to tell me that they aren’t having fun (I apologize for them in advance)…

Love always

me x

Being Legless!

SMS Text to my Personal Trainer/ Yoga Instructor giving feedback on the day before's gym session:


Good Morning - the slow demise of my leg use really started after I left you yesterday. I have never been so grateful that we have to avoid the tummy area (so help me after this baby though!). My legs are crying (ok there are moments of whimpering as well) on and off these cries and whimpers continue, they are a cross between tears of joy (they are happy to have worked out and been pushed) moving onto tears of  "what have we done to deserve this we are 'upstanding citizens' of your body". Climbing stairs makes them feel old, getting off a chair makes them feel useless.. I lovingly pat my legs and sigh, I know that it is for a good cause - Killer legs and tight bum here I come. (same time next week then!)

Half way there...

June, the month that signifies half way through a year… time to contemplate if your new year’s revolutions have or are being achieved. It is the month that I am celebrating being half way through my pregnancy. My tummy seems to have grown over night… yay for me, I can’t sleep on my tummy but I can feel the baby so that makes the ongoing heartburn, the tiredness kicking in all the more bearable.

June is also the month my beautiful mom turns 50. This is great milestone, well for the people celebrating… I love and respect my mom and really appreciate her advice. I am lucky that we see each other every day and speak once daily at the week end. Yes world - I am a “Mommy’s Girl”. I guess we don’t want to see our parents’ age they are the ones that will be there forever.  I love you mom.

June is also the month my cousin (who is skinny, clever and thin – vomit) decided that saving money was the order of the day by buying a box of blonde hair dye - the result: once beautiful blonde hair; now blonder down to the tips with orange roots. It is here that I learn put Jensen violet into shampoo instead of directly onto the hair which results in orange roots with blue and purple streaks. The worst part she still looks great – did I mention she had a baby 7 weeks ago… Yes she is annoyingly being so perfect looking like an Japanese hot anime character. Fair enough the look only lasted a day as our hairdresser saved the day.

I leave you with the funniest Facebook status’s I have read so far this month:

‘Facebook Friend’ I wonder if French people think in French I think that would be so irritating…