To Vajazzle or Not To Vajazzle - Monday Madness

I received an email from my friend whose name I can't mention - Clue (her name rhymes with Kerry Coats) it was all about the vajazzle...

For those of you who do not know what The Vajazzle is all about the definition  is as follows:
extracted from the: 
Chanaynay Dictionary
v.decorating your mini-ha ha/private parts with crystals and jewels aka to bedazzle your ....


Tuesday is Valentines Days day, the thought did dawn on me to take the Vajazzel plunge... It is a leap year after all...  Unfortunately with the red bar code still prominent on my belly and my c-scar still bright pink, I thought it would best to leap or steer away from the Vajazzel vajazzelness as it won't be so not sexy right now... Ladies, I am not over exaggerating, my bar code is so bad I can not walk past a till without a scanner going haywire. 
Not sure how to celebrate Valentine's... try Vajazzel
and to your partner I will simply say "Pleasure"...

As for me, next year I am gonna shine!

The details for whomever is interested is as follows:

Zulfah Mohamed (Bayat) Director

Contact no:082 675 8031 OR 011 472 8508 Email: belleza.perfecta@yahoo.com

Statistical Emotions and TimeLines

The saying “67.45% of all statistics are made up on the spot” does not elude me, even the fact that the word gullible has been removed from the dictionary... 

Since Bebe A has made her appearance, not only has; routine, bathing and all daily tasks taken on a new meaning. Baby toys lying everywhere (the baby doesn't even move yet) so besides "stuff" being everywhere my emotions have followed suite.  I thought I was perhaps going through a bout of depression, a bout of Who am I? a bout of insecurity and self hate ? Blahdy blah blah… bearing in mind I tend to lean… OK, more like a gigantic flop towards the melodramatic, but hear me out...the emotions or lack thereof have plagued me and made my drama queen self wait for the best actress in a drama nomination.

Now going back to statistics the average couple has 2.5 children. The average time for these weird emotions to appear after a baby is born is between 4-6 months (apparently it is" text book"... I am a textbook :)). For life to get to a new type of normal you need to wait about 6 months after baby is born.

The average month is made up of 4.2 weeks. Average bedtime is 8:24pm.

What I am getting at is; how long am I allowed to feel like this? I prefer an average so that if anyone tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself I can at least reply in a confidant tone that I have 3.76409 days left.