The Story of my PanreASS - Chapter 2

Things I do not recommend you do on your birthday.

1.      Do not go to a Professor/surgeon

2.      If you do go to a Professor, do not wear a dress with spanks aka “Granny Panties”

3.      Be prepared for bad news like – “You will need surgery and you will need to be in hospital for 2 weeks”.

4.      Be prepared for more blood tests. My problem with blood tests is the cotton wool – great I just wrote cotton wool – oh no I just did it again. I hate it!

5.      I just feel a list looks more professional and well thought-out if you have 5 points. Oh yes, make sure that any CD Discs in your folder of scans is not the photo shoot of your lovely 14 month old baby.

Now a week has passed, after another CT-scan I am back at my favourite Professor’s rooms with my entourage, a worried husband, my mother and decent panties. Yes it is confirmed - I need surgery and they have also found a lump on my liver (but we don’t need to worry about that).
My lump is a grade one tumor. It takes 4 days after the Whipple procedure (removal of gall bladder, head of pancreas, small intestine and part of stomach) for us to find out if it is an aggressive or non-aggressive cancer. My Professor (be jealous – I mean who else has managed to be looked after by a Professor) anyway, MY Professor says he believes it is a non-aggressive cancer that means a normal life after my recovery. Yay more babies!

Something to keep me positive - The weight-loss I will experience (now if this doesn’t happen, Kevin has mentioned that I may have more than pancreas problems, thank goodness for his sense of humour)

If you do not know this Donald Gordon is not a person who will give you authorization for your biopsy. Donald Gordon started Liberty and has a hospital named after him so therefore do not ask the receptionist loudly if he will be getting your authorization. Leads to a definite AWKWARD moment.

I have learnt that getting authorization for my major surgery (dramatic pause please) whilst Discovery takes me through my run down regarding doctors not having special arrangements with them and us being charged with out-of-hospital rates. I shall now have to ask anyone who even looks at me in hospital if they are contracted to Discovery before administrating me the much needed painkillers, which I am sure will be needed after a 7 hour op. I, of course, say this to the person on the end of the Discovery call centre for her to understand where I am coming from. The result is that I will now have to ask everyone working in the hospital if they are contracted to discovery rates.