Preparing for Hospital

Today I am packing for the hospital. I have a certain quality of OCD that I am still trying to deal with. I am even trying to arrange how sore I will feel coming out of anesthetic (broken down to a-nest-HECTIC) this sense of control is slightly weird, I know.
I have tried googling... so you are going into hospital what next (to be said in Hollywood trailer voice)... alas to my dismay even my trusted wiki has let me down, sometimes the Internet is of no help...pft ok maybe I am a lot weird...

I have just sent an email of contact numbers and Kenzie's schedule. Now to pack Kenzie's bag and my hospital bag.Kevin is staying with his parents for two weeks. I need to thank my parents and my in-laws I am truly lucky.

Practical things need to be addressed but I have filed that under the silly section.  We tried having a discussion of "what ifs" but that too was pushed to one side. Who wants to talk about the negative especially when you are 33 years old. In the wise of words of Salt and Pepper. Yeh aha - don't be negative, negative just be positive positive...

I, of course have played the sick card and ordered way too many books on my kindle and am pretending this will be more like a getaway spa catching up on much needed sleep.

Yesterday I experienced a sense of calm today the butterflies have returned with a force more like a colony of bats.

I am overwhelmed with all the messages of support that I have received and almost feel like a fraud.. I would just like to say Thank-you and you shall hear from me sooner than later.

The Story of my PanreASS - Chapter 2

Things I do not recommend you do on your birthday.

1.      Do not go to a Professor/surgeon

2.      If you do go to a Professor, do not wear a dress with spanks aka “Granny Panties”

3.      Be prepared for bad news like – “You will need surgery and you will need to be in hospital for 2 weeks”.

4.      Be prepared for more blood tests. My problem with blood tests is the cotton wool – great I just wrote cotton wool – oh no I just did it again. I hate it!

5.      I just feel a list looks more professional and well thought-out if you have 5 points. Oh yes, make sure that any CD Discs in your folder of scans is not the photo shoot of your lovely 14 month old baby.

Now a week has passed, after another CT-scan I am back at my favourite Professor’s rooms with my entourage, a worried husband, my mother and decent panties. Yes it is confirmed - I need surgery and they have also found a lump on my liver (but we don’t need to worry about that).
My lump is a grade one tumor. It takes 4 days after the Whipple procedure (removal of gall bladder, head of pancreas, small intestine and part of stomach) for us to find out if it is an aggressive or non-aggressive cancer. My Professor (be jealous – I mean who else has managed to be looked after by a Professor) anyway, MY Professor says he believes it is a non-aggressive cancer that means a normal life after my recovery. Yay more babies!

Something to keep me positive - The weight-loss I will experience (now if this doesn’t happen, Kevin has mentioned that I may have more than pancreas problems, thank goodness for his sense of humour)

If you do not know this Donald Gordon is not a person who will give you authorization for your biopsy. Donald Gordon started Liberty and has a hospital named after him so therefore do not ask the receptionist loudly if he will be getting your authorization. Leads to a definite AWKWARD moment.

I have learnt that getting authorization for my major surgery (dramatic pause please) whilst Discovery takes me through my run down regarding doctors not having special arrangements with them and us being charged with out-of-hospital rates. I shall now have to ask anyone who even looks at me in hospital if they are contracted to Discovery before administrating me the much needed painkillers, which I am sure will be needed after a 7 hour op. I, of course, say this to the person on the end of the Discovery call centre for her to understand where I am coming from. The result is that I will now have to ask everyone working in the hospital if they are contracted to discovery rates.

The Story of my PancreASS- Chapter One

My pancreas hates me and that's a fact.

It all started - I think - in my youth, where I  would state, quite loudly, that if people thought beauty was skin deep, they hadn’t seen my pancreas, which was beautiful. I was your typical nerdy-looking teen; braces (tick) with funny, weird hair (tick).

Now if you have ever seen the pancreas it really isn’t such a good looking organ, but in all fairness, is any organ really beautiful?

Years later and after some self-doubt and a self-diagnosis of potential hypochondriacism, my husband encouraged me to go to the doctor. I figured he was so tired of my constant complaints of nausea, weakness and a burning sensation in my tummy, to name but a few. Or maybe because he said “Chanene I am tired of your constant complaints”.
I then get sent for an ultra sound. The doctors find a lump. They then get authorization for a CT-scan, I am asked if I had a "boozy night" the previous night, now if you know me I get drunk after a few sips of wine, fast-forward the story through blood tests, a g-scope (the one down your throat not up your bum) more blood tests, more "episodes of sickness", I eventually land up at the Milpark Hospital in Joburg, where I am scheduled for blood tests and a biopsy of my lovely lady lump. Pancreatitis is confirmed. The Lump is obviously what is causing this.
After the longest weekend of my life and 2 days later I was told it is a Neuro Endorine Tumor. And then I was referred to a Professor and an appointment becomes available the next day - my birthday.

18 smating

I was invited to an 18th birthday party. Yes people, I am cool and hip like that
Ok so it was my cousin's 18th Birthday but I did feel cool.
Put the Bebe to bed.
Then set out to hang out with the in crowd.
Yip the rest of the family.
We are PRITTY cool and I am sure that our laughing and having fun made them 17 and 18 year olds PRITTY jealous, all eye-balling wishing they could be part of the in crowd.

Who was I kidding.
I told my bebe-daddy that this party was making me feel OLD. I just happen to mention my 'aged insecurities" at the exact same time two very young boys walk past and nod in agreement with said statement.

The result from this, is as follows:
Botox - I will find you one day and I shall ferverently deny using you - just like them celebrities do...

Ah the joys in finding that fountain of youth