Talking about a New Years Revolution- with Dyll

Happy Happy Merry Merry…

What a great way to start a year by jotting down all your revolutions. I don’t do resolutions as I feel that I have the passion to embrace each goal I set forth (some may disagree)

So my first goal is based on the massive FOOD HANGOVER I experienced right through Christmas. The problem with a food hangover is that it is very different to a Booze Hangover.

I shall set the scene: Imagine you and your crazy bunch of friends are celebrating the victory of once again coming 2^nd in your soccer match”  you know - celebrating something “really” important - so what does any self respecting celebration call for? Thank you for asking… it calls for shooters and booze.

The next morning  you awaken to the sound of the pulse in your feet pounding in your ears, your fashion style is EMO (please research if you don’t know what an EMO is) and you are feeling like a barrel of recycled monkey puke… the advice you are given ranges from greasy breakfast/take away, banana mayonnaise milkshake or a green salad  - Everyone suddenly  gives advice on their “guaranteed hangovered recovering remedies” and more often than not  the common advise heard in the halls of pubs, bars and homes everyone is bite the dog… metaphorically speaking of course this is translated to have another drink and feel better - I will show you vodka redbull!!

But alas on a food hangover you cannot eat another packet of Christmas pies or a turkey – you know, the evils that made you feel this awful - I should have shared the turkey and the stuffing L so there you are button undone feeling extremely sorry for yourself, it’s the hours after the great big Christmas meal to the leftover meal that makes one ask “Why, Why, Why”

What to do in this state, well obviously start your Christmas Revolutions for 2011 procrastination being a vice that you will say goodbye to in the new year because you only  start after standing on the scale on the first Monday in January, it is then that you decided that Tracy Chapman had it wrong. Talking about a Revolution, start with a wimper L not whisper…

Step One of NYR

To be original in this common goal writing predicament we find ourselves in I am thinking that my goals will not include talk of weight loss, I will not say I want to lose 100kg, I will not stereotype myself and be such a typical girl. Instead I solemnly swear to eat-less and save my allowances of chocolate, booze and overindulging for really really special occasions until I have lost either 99.1kg or 20kg around my ankles.

My other problem is my abs or should I mention lack of. It all started last year  when I was laying on the emergency bed in the doctors rooms - I had come down with a severely attacking  tummy bug otherwise known as exploding diarrhea. I was cramping and not to sound melodramatic thought I was going to die.

So the doctor tells me to pull my stomach in, whilst he does his “Doctor Check” he then asks or rather tells  in a slightly frustrated voice “ Pull –in-your –tummy” I then say in clenched teeth… I AM!

At this point he told me told me to get abs.

I then left the doctors rooms miserable but on a mission “finding ABS”. I then did what any intelligent, sassy lady does I turned to my trusted friend “google” who I am sad to say let me down and couldn’t help me buy abs. Nothing. Dust. Not even the kind where you just ad water and have “Walla” Instant ABs

2011 will be the year of the ABS… so help me. (More on my gripping tale of “The AB’s – emotion to the core” to follow shortly)

As for the rest of the revolutions there are so many and not even Greek civilization was ruined in a day.